Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers
by Infamous.Lady
Summary: Bloopers! Funny!
1. Blooperes 1

**:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers!!!:::**

Please do not hate me but DO tell me if this sucks. My humour is not exactly the best in the world. I apologize right away. And I am not racist either!

Warning: my mind is also a bit demented.

**:::On scene::: (episode 7, part 2)**

**Take 1**

Taiitsu-kun: "Ready…Suzaku No Miko? You've been in this world quite a while. So opening the way will not be as easy when you came."

Miaka: "How hard can it be to open a book?"

Taiitsu-kun: "You will be surprised"

Director: "Cut!!!!"

Take 2 

Taiitsu-kun: "Ready…Suzaku No Miko? You've been in this world quite a while. So opening the way will not be as easy when you came."

Miaka: "Opening the way?"

Taiitsu-kun: "The pathway between the two worlds. In the beginning, you could've returned by the strength of your will."

Miaka: "So how can I do it now?"

Taiitsu-kun: "There is an object connecting both worlds."

Miaka: "An object connecting both worlds?"

Taiitsu-kun: "Yup. That's what I just said. Can you give the girl a hearing devise or something?"

Take 3 

Miaka: "An object connecting both worlds?"

Taiitsu-kun: "The thing exists in this world and in the other."

Miaka: "It exists here? And there?"

Yui: "Exists there…and here."

(Miaka and Yui think)

Miaka and Yui (together): "Chinese food!"

Take 4 

(Miaka and Yui think)

Miaka: "Yui-chan's…"

Yui: "Miaka and my…"

Miaka and Yui (together): "…uniforms!"

Yui: "That's it! That's why in the story things that happen to Miaka happen to me."

Director: "Duh!"

Cast: "Hey!"

Director: "Sorry, I just could not resist…"

Take 5 

Taiitsu-kun: "It deeply connects your strong wills and emotions."

Miaka: "Deeply connects our strong wills."

Yui: "Miaka! I'm here! COME BACK! MIAKA!"

Miaka: "Oh, all right, all right! Geez, you do not have to yell!"

Director: "Cut!!! Yui, how is your voice?"

Yui (barely a whisper): "I lost it."

Take 6 

Miaka: "Yui-chan. Connected."

Tamahome (looks at the laptop): "OH! Can I have it?"

Miaka (glares at him): "No, you are more than likely will sell it. And without it, I cannot communicate with Yui-chan."

Take 7 

Tamahome: "We're okay…we can do it."

Hotohori: "Sure, we can. I will, for sure, send you back."

Nuriko: "Be relieved, Miaka. Haven't I been a nice girl lately?"

Miaka: "Nuriko…you are a man."

Nuriko: "And your point is?"

Take 8 

Miaka: "Everybody…thank you very much."

Tamahome: "Instead of thanking us…come back to us. We'll be waiting."

Miaka (thinks): "That's right…leaving means…"(looks at Tamahome who smiles at her) "…not seeing Tamahome anymore."

Nuriko (thinks back): "Do not worry, I will take care of him for you!"

Okay, I do not know what else to write so this is it for now. Sorry if it offended anyone, especially my humour. Later!


	2. Bloopers on Scenes

**:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers Part 2:::**

From absolutely random episodes because I just got bored…again.

**Episode 16**

Miaka (wakes up and sits up in the bed at Shoka-san's house): "Tamahome!" (makes stupid face) "How scary! I'm dreamed Tamahome got fried by the blond guy and was eaten!" (image kicks in, brown dead Tama and above him is Nakago with a fork and a knife) "If he's going to be eaten by anyone, I'd rather it was me. I just realized I am hungry."

_Comment: _Now I know that Miaka and Nakago belong to one of those tribes that eat human beings. I think they both need serious help, but I am not getting anywhere near them. I do not want to be fried.

And apparently, those two are not the only ones I want to stay away from.

**Episode 17**

Hotohori: "This is Tamahome's home? I never imagined such a simple, dirty, wretchedly poor family existed. I HAVE TO have better politics to save the lowest class people."

_Comment: _You are not the only one who has been promising someone that.

Hotohori: "What, child?"

Yuiren: "Young lady, are you my big brother's wife?"

Hotohori: "I am a man."

Yuiren: "But you're too beautiful."

_Comment: _Tamahome is got to watch for that. I think his sister is turning into a lesbian, and accusing him of being gay. That's what happens when you live with your sick father, I guess. But on the other hand, think of Nuriko.

**Episode 19**

Nuriko: "HOW CAN YOU PLAY THIS THING IN THE TIME LIKE THIS?"

Chiriko (Amiboshi for real): "Don't interrupt please! I am trying to comfort the Emperor!"

Nuriko: "Give ne that flute!"

Chiriko: "No, I won't!"

Nuriko: "I'll do the comforting!"

Chiriko: "That would be impossible!"

Mitsukake: "Emperor you're popular with the guys."

Hotohori (sighs)

_Comment: _And next time someone tells you that Chinese males cannot be gay, you can argue.

Nakago: "Just kidding."

_Comment: _That's where you have to call in a doctor because you know that you have got completely insane. Unless someone says no da you are not going be cured. (Yeah, lame joke, I know. It is 11:07 pm, what do you expect?)

**Episode 23**

Tamahome: "Ah! Found it! There it is! Miaka, here it is!"

_Comment: _He was looking for one of his coins, and then he screamed that. The last part sounded something like 'atta dura!" 'Dura' is how you call stupid female in Russian, and it just got to me, I donno. I found it funny cause I am Russian. And because he found the coin under his bed (or so I think), it could have been translated as "Miaka stupid female" (from Russian not Japanese) or "Miaka, here's that stupid female". Both versions made me laugh when they went through my head.

_Hot_ohori is supper **hot**! (Lol?)


	3. Bloopers on Interviews

**:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers:::**

**:::Part 3:::**

**Interviews**

Ok, so maybe I am going out of line, and I am mistaken about 'blooper's definition. Whatever the case might be, I don't know for sure. But I thought that it would be funny to interview some of the characters. So here I go!

_:::Money Man, Tamahome:::_

Me: "Hello."

Tamahome: "Hi. Is this interview for money?"

Me (shakes head)

Tamahome: "Then I won't do it!"

Me (gives him one golden ruyo)

Tamahome: "That's what I am talking about! But this is only for one question."

Me: "Really?"

Tamahome: "Yes, and you just wasted it."

Me (gives him another golden ruyo): "Can I ask you a question now?"

Tamahome (takes it and puts in his pocket): "You just did. Anything else?"

Me (and another _two_ this time): "Why do you need all of these money?"

Tamahome: "To make Miaka happy."

Me: "Do you think money can buy happiness?"

Tamahome: "It can buy food."

Me (nods, and suppresses a laugh): "Good point." (gives him another coin) "Does Miaka eat much?"

Tamahome: "Ask her yourself."

Me: "Then give me my coin back. That was a lousy answer."

Tamahome: "That was a stupid question. Did not you watch the episodes?"

Me (stretches out a hand): "Money up front, please."

Help! I don't know what else to write! Any ideas, please! I am drowning! Tasuki, what are you doing?! You can't swim! –Moron- Hey, Miaka, get out of the water! Oh, man, two birds with one stone!

_:::Hammer, Tasuki:::_

Me: "So, you can't swim?"

Tasuki: "Who told you that?"

Me (points to Tamahome): "Here's a present for you." (takes something out of her bag) "It's called a life west. Wear it when you just into the water next time."

Tasuki: "Is it going to work?"

Me: "Would I be giving it to you if it wasn't?  
Tasuki: "Tamahome paid you, didn't he?"


	4. Bloppers 2

**:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers 4:::**

**_Message to the readers: _**Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I am trying my best to come up with more fun stuff for you. Unfortunately, I have eaten too much cake…grumbles my brain is mashed from all the chocolate and vanilla.

Episode 34 

**A/N: **spoilers ahead!

_Take 1._

Miaka: "Wait! Please… I beg you… let us through."

Tamahome: "Miaka."

Miaka: "We need the Shinzaho to call Suzaku. I'll do whatever you say. We can't go back to Konan Country without the Shinzaho. Please…I'm begging you!"

Hokkitsu: "Agreed."

Miaka: "What do you want me to do?"

Tomite: "Cook us something, we are starving!"

Tetsuya (gulps on the other side): "Well, it's their second funeral."

_Take 2_.

Miaka: "What do you want me to do?"

Hokkitsu: "If you're really Suzaku No Miko we need to test you to see if you're worthy of it. Only then will we allow you to pass."

Miaka: "I understand."

Tamahome: "Don't! You have NO IDEA what they might want!"

Miaka: "It's all right. Don't help me."

Tamahome: "I don't like this."

Tomite: "Then…take your cloths off! We will take a picture and post it on the Internet."

Tamahome (grumbles): "Here goes my dream of fortune, flying out from that window."

_Take 3._

Tomite: "Then…take your cloths off!"

Miaka and everyone else, in shocked and surprised tones: "What?"

Tamahome: "What do you have on your MINDS?!NO WAY!!"

Tasuki: "WHAT KINDA PERVERTS ARE YOU?!"

Tomite: "Relax, we are not planning on taking her virginity."

Miaka: "Yeah, you better not 'cause I am not ready."

_Take 4._

Tomite: "SHUDDUP, WE CAN FINSIH THIS YOU KNOW!"

Miaka (bubble on the head): "ALL RIGHT! I'LL DO IT!"

Tamahome: "AAAAACK! EVERYONE, CLOSE YOUR EYES!"

Hokkitsu (whispers to Tomite): "Is he trying to say that she not really good looking? Maybe we should reconsider."

Tomite (whispers back): "Well, maybe you should, but I have waited two hundred years for this and I am not giving up now."

Miaka (very shyly): "Th-this is the limit of TV censorship."

_And here my CD got jammed…_


	5. Bloopers: Movie Quotes

**:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers:::**

**Part 5**

Hey you guys! Thank you for your reviews! Ok, I just had an idea while I ate. Funny…it reminded me of Miaka.

_So here, I am going to re-quote movies and add my own jokes (if they are jokes)! _

Tasuki: "Butthead."

Tamahome: "I can't believe you just called me a butthead. Nobody called me a butthead since grade 4."

Tasuki: "Maybe not to your face."

Chiriko: "Tamahome-san, you went to school?"

(consider it being after episode 33) Nuriko: "I will be back."

Tenko: "I have a big head, and a little arms."

Miaka: "Pea brain."

Nuriko: "I have an ulcer. I do not sleep well, mostly because you keep calling me in the middle of the night. If you don't call me, I dream that you are going to call me. I think of you in a shower…" Hotohori blinks "_Not in a good way_, but in I-am-so-distracted-I-forgot-to-wash-my-hair kind of way."

Hotohori: "And here I thought he is going to propose to me…"

-The Seishi are on their way to get Byakko Shinzaho-

Everyone together: "Are we there yet?"

Tasuki (looking at Nuriko): "She is the man."

_Sorry that this is very short and maybe not funny. Leave me your favourite quotes and the movies or books from where they cam from, and I will do my best. I am just having a mild cold, that's it. I hoped you like it though, and thank you for your wonderful comments. _

_Alexis_


	6. Blooper 6: Unfortunate

:::Fushigi Yuugi Bloopers:::

**So, where are we? I think this is number six. I have been sick and busy, and a bit occupied. No 'ooh' s please. I was **_**wrongly **_**occupied. Now, is not that funny? Anywho, my favourite character in Fushigi Yuugi series is Nuriko. I do not know why I just said that. Well, some of this blooper is going to be about him, but I really want to try something. **

Chobits meets Chichiri 

Chi: "Chi?"

Chichiri: "No, I am Chichiri, no da."

Chi (looks at him after tilting her head upside down): "Chi-Chi-ri?"

Chichiri (nods): "Yes, Chichiri."

Chobits (points at his monk stuff): "Ri?" (points at Chichiri) "Chi-Chi?"

**Ok, well, now that we got off that introduction. Miaka, let do off the mike, it is not a lollypop. Taka, get her off me, please! tries to pull mike away, doesn't work No da…Taka, get over here now, or I will zap you! Nakago, will you get him over here for me! fights with Miaka for mike Yui! looks up at the sky Oh, Taitsu-kun! Pop up and scare her half to death please!**

**Half and hour later**

**Miaka still clings to the stupid mike, so I have to go and get another one I hope her tongue is stuck to it. grumble I was supposed to interview Tasuki, and it was a special mike that won't all hot when he uses his halisen. But hang on; let's see first how he burns Tama with it all the time.**

Behind the Scenes Exclusive

So, Tasuki, tell me: why would you want to burn Tama all the time?

_It was fun and they paid me for it. _

(stare) Money, huh? Was not that Tamahome's glitch?

_It's Suzaku's genetics. Some had it, some wanted it. Besides, he looked rather HOT like that._

No doubt about that. Was it fun bugging him?

_When he was in the bad mood, ya. _

And when he wasn't?

_I did not bug him._

Are you a bully?

_No. Why do you say?_

Well, I don't know. (looks around, and spots Nuriko) Hey, Nuriko! Come here, we are discussing Tamahome!

Tama-chan! In a second! (comes as soon as he can) What's a gossip. 

(whispers to herself) He is definitely gay.

(leans in closer) What was that?

_She said you are gay._

I am not gay. I am cross dresser. 

This conversation is not going anywhere…

_Then let me go and bug Tama. I hear he is pissed at Nakago, so it would be the best time. (leaves)_

Oh, what a bummer!

No doubt, he is one hot guy.

(looks uncertain at Nuriko) Well, yeah, got to go, bye!

**My interview did not work so well…Come to think of it, if this interview was with Ashitare, I would have been wolf's pray. And as for Tomo, he would have been laughing his laugh that gives me creeps…Well, I will just put in a CD in my computer and do some normal bloopers. On to #7, maybe more successful than this one. Don't laugh. (Lol)**


End file.
